


Dear Fred,

by edamametoy2



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Complete, F/M, Fred Weasley Dies, Letters, Love, Love Letters, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29359617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edamametoy2/pseuds/edamametoy2
Summary: *after the Battle of HogwartsFreddie, it's Lulu.Can you hear me, Freddie?Can you please come back?A set of letters.





	1. June

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally published on wattpad. if you'd like to read it there, the username is @edamametoy2.

_Dear Fred,_

_Fred. Freddie. It's me. Lulu._

_It's been one month. One month._

_I can't believe you've been gone that long. It seems like yesterday I met you on the train._

_I couldn't believe I was a witch. I spent so long believing I was weird. But to others,I was normal. I was relieved. There were people like me out there. I was worried, though. I wouldn't know anyone, or anything about magic. I'm not the brightest. But you know that._

_Or, you knew that._

_So there I was, standing at King Cross' Station. My mother was no longer in the picture, since she couldn't stand the responsibilities of being, well, a mother. So it was just me and dear old Dad. He couldn't cross the barrier, so he just dropped me off and waved me goodbye._

_I stared at the platform, not really sure what to do. I mean, Hagrid's not the best at explaining things._

_But then, a tall redheaded boy knocked me over. I fell to the ground and he apologized profusely, saying that he was distracted by his chaotic family. It was none other than our very own stick-in-the-mud Percy Weasley._

_I turned to see a whole army of redheads. I had never seen so many before! Your mother saw my problem and ordered Percy to help me through. Once I had gotten through, I stared at the train in awe. I had never seen anything so beautiful, so magnificent, so perfect._

_Except you._

_I thanked your family and made my way with my trunk to the train when two figures blocked my path. Identical twins, like someone had hit 'print' one too many times. I was introduced to George, and you. Frederick Gideon Weasley._

_You both bounced back and forth between your sentences and insisted that I sit with you, so I'd make friends with the 'right sort of people'._

_"So what do they call you?" You asked._

_"Tallulah," I replied. "I'm Tallulah Hale."_

_"Tallulah? That's too fancy. I reckon we should call you something else."_

_"Like what?"_

_"Hmmm," You said, thinking deeply. Your eyes brightened when it hit you. "Lulu."_

_"Lulu. I like it."_

_And it stuck. From that moment on, I was Lulu. During the train ride, you explained everything you could. Quidditch, the Houses, classes, basic magic history, everything._

_We became close quickly. Once we reached the castle, we were all sorted into Gryffindor._

_Do you remember that? I do._

_I didn't know it then, but I had already fallen in love with you._

_People always ask you the moment you knew you were in love._

_I think the real question is:_

_When didn't I?_

_Like I said, it's been a month. I don't know what you're doing up there. Maybe you're just floating around, or maybe you're pulling pranks on the ghosts._

_That's probably what you're doing._

_Are you watching over me, Freddie? Do you see me? Why did you leave me?_

_I'm still at The Burrow, of course. It's been my home since Dad died. I'll never be able to repay Molly for letting me stay._

_She's broken too. We've been together quite a lot. The house is awfully lonely. Ginny left with Harry. Bill and Charlie don't live here. Percy never comes. Ron's barely here. It's only Molly, George, and I._

_I spent the first week in my room. I barely ate, and I definitely didn't sleep. I couldn't even move. I just lay there on my bed, wrapped up in your blanket, desperately trying to grasp onto you._

_Fred, why can't you come back?_

_George and I help each other, but he's taking it really hard, Freddie. He dyed his hair, and he shattered the mirrors. He can't stand to look at himself. But he doesn't see the small differences that I do. Your nose was smoother, your lips don't have that curve that George's do, and you have a scar on your eyebrow and your nose._

_But he can't see that. And how could he? It's too small._

_He never leaves his room._

_After the first week, I spent hours with Molly. We cooked and cleaned and gardened and knitted and did anything we could. But I stopped cleaning today._

_I went into your room to get a jumper. The blanket doesn't smell like you anymore. I need a little bit of you to get by._

_So I grabbed your favorite one. The hideous green one with blue stripes. And I put my hands into the pockets. You still had a few things in there. Some Puking Pastilles, a few Galleons, a piece of paper, and a small velvet box._

_A bright, shining diamond. My favorite. Our favorite. It was perched on an elegant but simple gold band. Inscribed on it were the words_

_"I don't want to miss a thing, and I never will"._

_Freddie, I love it. It's beautiful. And I would have said yes._

_Love,_

_Lulu_


	2. July

_Dear Fred,_   
_I didn’t want to believe it at first._   
_I remembered seeing the signs. My old clothes didn’t fit me anymore. I was gaining weight even though I barely ate. And the idea of food altogether was sickening._   
_I think I realized it right away. But it couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be. I didn’t want it to be._   
_It really hit me once George commented on it. I had thrown up after breakfast for the fourth morning in a row._   
_“If I didn’t know any better, Lulu, I’d say you’re pregnant or something.”_   
_I froze over the toilet._   
_Pregnant._   
_I gasped. I searched my mind and did some math and George was right._   
_Fred, I’m pregnant._   
_For a split second, I was happy._   
_But then reality hit me like a Bludger._   
_You aren’t here. You will never see our child grow up. Our child will never know you._   
_This wasn’t how it was supposed to be!_   
_Do you remember what we talked about? It was right after Tonks told us she was pregnant._   
_“I’m so happy for Tonks,” I said._   
_“I know. Can you imagine a little Lupin? I just see Lupin’s head on a baby’s body.”_   
_I laughed. “Fred, that’s so weird. I’m sure Teddy will be adorable.”_   
_“I guess. But you know what, I think our own kids will be much cuter. Just imagine. Your eyes with my hair? Power combo.”_   
_“Oh really? And what would we name these children?”_   
_“Well, for a boy, I think Carter Weasley sounds nice.”_   
_“And for a girl?”_   
_“Hmmm. I think Ruby’s nice.”_   
_“Ruby?”_   
_“Mm-hmm.”_   
_“But what if she has my hair?”_   
_“That’s a problem for later. Besides, all Weasley children have red hair. No exceptions.”_   
_“Ruby and Carter.”_   
_Do you remember that? I don’t want to do this alone. I can’t even take care of myself without you. So how am I supposed to take care of a baby?_   
_The first few days after I learned I was pregnant were rough. I spent every second of every day crying. I need you. But after four days, I wasn’t allowed to mope anymore. That’s thanks to George. He told me that I needed fresh air or else the kid would look like a turnip._   
_Molly was overjoyed when we told her. In fact, she’s knitting little sweaters as we speak. And of course George is excited. He insisted that if it’s a boy, he should be George II. And if it’s a girl, she should be Georgina. I think he’ll be a little crushed, but maybe he’ll feel better once I appoint him godfather._   
_I know that’s what you would have wanted._   
_I won’t know if it’s a boy or a girl for a few more weeks. But I promise to tell you._   
_Besides that, we’ve been pretty much the same. George dyed his hair hot pink this time, and he looks terribly funny. You would have laughed your ass off. I still haven’t really seen Ginny. Ron’s always with Hermione, and still no news of the others._   
_Molly spends most of her time knitting now, which is great. If I’m grateful for one thing in this newly ruined life, it’s Molly. The world doesn’t deserve her. She truly is a great person. I’m thankful she’ll be here to help with the baby, Freddie._   
_Our baby._   
_I better go. Molly’s making me eat extra servings of each meal for the baby._   
_I hope you’re watching over us, Freddie._   
_I miss you._   
_Lulu_


	3. August

_Dear Fred,_   
_Molly, George, and I went to St. Mungo’s to check on the baby. We still don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet, but we’ll figure it out in a couple of months._   
_I want to say I’m doing better. I do. And I mean, I kind of am. I’m starting to take care of myself for the baby. But other than that, I’m not doing so well. It’s still bad. I need you, and nothing can fill this emptiness. Especially since you won’t be here to help._   
_My stomach is starting to swell up. Unless I wear something baggy, you can see a small, but defined bump. It brings me a little bit of joy to think that a little Fred will be in my arms soon. I wonder what they’ll be like. Will they be like you? Chatty, talkative, a troublemaker? Maybe they’ll pull pranks like you did._   
_Do you remember our first prank, Fred?_   
_It was our first year. I think it was the first week of first year. I was sitting on the couch in the common room and you came running in, with George by your side._   
_I was trying to do my homework, with a big emphasis on trying. I was never really cut out for academics._   
_“Lulu!” You yelled. “What are you doing?”_   
_“I’m trying to write this stupid essay for Snape’s class,” I replied. “But it’s hopeless.”_   
_“Well, put that rubbish aside,” George said. “We need your help.”_   
_“Help with what?”_   
_“We’re going to play a little prank on dear old Snape. Would you like to help?”_   
_A mischievous grin spread across your face. Closing my book, I turned to face you._   
_“Let’s do it.”_   
_The three of us snuck into his office and put a special hair dye in his shampoo bottle. Every single time someone said “Professor Snape’, it’d turn a shade pinker. The next morning, we scuttled off to Snape’s class early to watch the damage._   
_By the time our class ended, his hair was the shade of magenta, and his face was as red as your hair. He angrily tried to fix it, but it only got worse. We erupted into laughter in the corner of his classroom, and he deducted 50 points from Gryffindor and gave us detention for the rest of the week._   
_We must have spent hours cleaning those stupid trophies by hand with Filch. But it all paid off, didn’t it? After George threw something at Filch, we snuck into his office and found the map. The map that helped us out a lot in the long run if you know what I mean._   
_But detention was worth it. You made it worth it. You joked and laughed and told me stories about home. About how uptight Percy was, about how good Charlie was at Quidditch, and about how funny Ginny was. And I told you about the Muggle world, and how different things were. And you listened so intently, like nothing else was more important than the words coming out of my mouth._   
_And from then on, every single detention we had, you always made it fun. You made detention something to look forward to. Even if we were scrubbing the floors, or cleaning cauldrons, you made it all something beautiful. Because that’s who you are, Fred. You take the ugliest things and make them beautiful._   
_That’s why everything is dark here. Because you’re not here to fix it. Everything is bleak. Even the joke shop isn’t the same anymore. No matter how hard George tries, it’s not the same. There’s something missing._   
_I know it’s been three months Fred, but it feels like an eternity. Is this what the rest of my life is going to feel like?_   
_Empty?_   
_Everyone tells me that it gets better with time. But does it? I feel like I lose more of myself with every passing minute._   
_I don’t know what to believe anymore._   
_But at least, I have our baby to keep me company. In these times, they’re the only thing I want to live for._   
_Love,_   
_Lulu_


	4. September

_Fred,_   
_I remember the time I realized that I love you like it was yesterday. It was probably different for you, but this was what happened to me._   
_There wasn’t a time where we weren’t friends. Sure, we fought sometimes, but we were always there for each other no matter what. It was a bond different from the one I had with anybody else. It was a bond I only had with you._   
_And me being oblivious, it took me a while to notice it. The tension between us. How it was fun with just the two of us, but awkward at first. Or how it felt different hugging you then it felt hugging George._   
_Falling in love with you was slow, but quick. Scary, but exhilarating. Painful, but blissful. Loving you can best be described as a roller coaster. Remember when I took you to a roller coaster? Do you remember the feeling you get once you reach the highest point? Your stomach drops, it feels queasy, and you get a rush, a high? That’s what it feels like. You’re so blissfully attached, and you’re terribly afraid of having it snatched from you. And when it’s gone, it’s like going backwards. The best part of the ride is taken from you, and all you can do is watch desperately as you try to get it back._   
_But you can’t._   
_I rushed into potions late. I overslept. I quickly sat down next to you, my hair unbrushed and my uniform completely messy. I was given a detention by the merciless Snape, and I started to scribble some notes onto my parchment._   
_“Lulu,” You whispered. “Lulu.”_   
_“What?”_   
_“Here.” You handed me a piece of toast with jam on it. Grape._   
_“You weren’t at breakfast and I knew you’d be hungry. But I got grape since I know you hate strawberry.”_   
_I took the toast, my hands shaking. It was that moment, that exact moment, that I knew that I loved you. It seems silly, I know, but that’s just the way things work._   
_I left the classroom with the biggest smile on my face. Everyone kept asking me why I was so happy, and all I could say was ‘grapes’._   
_It sounds so stupid. But that's when I knew, Freddie. That I was in love with you._   
_And it sounds selfish, but I wish that didn’t happen. I wish I hadn’t met you, because then I wouldn’t have loved you. And if I didn’t love you, then it wouldn’t hurt this much. Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was wrong. They were so wrong. They must have not known what love felt like, because you never want that ripped away from you. The mere memory of love isn’t enough. Why do you want to remember what you had when you can no longer have it? It hurts, Fred, it hurts._   
_Dear God, this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Worse than the time I splinched myself, worse than the time I broke my arm, worse than the time I had to get surgery when I was nine. Nothing can ever prepare you for this pain. Nothing. And nothing hurts this bad._   
_No, it doesn’t get better with time._   
_No, I’m not doing well._   
_No, I can’t get over it._   
_No, I don’t think I can be with anybody else._   
_Nothing can calm the storm inside, Fred._   
_Molly and I have an appointment to see the baby’s gender in a few weeks. What do you think it’ll be? I think it’s a boy, but you always said you wanted a little girl._   
_I guess we’ll have to wait and see._   
_Well, I’ll have to wait and see. You probably already know. Or maybe not. I don’t know anything about how you are anymore._   
_Love,_   
_Lulu_


	5. October

_ Fred, _

_ Your dream is coming true. I only wish you were here to see it.  _

_ It’s a girl. Ruby Weasley is expected to arrive around late January or early February.  _

_ I’m scared to do this without you Fred, but I love Ruby so much. It’s insane how much I love her, considering I don’t even know her. And I know I’ve been struggling lately, but I’ve been getting my act together, for her. _

_ She doesn’t deserve to have no father and a horrible mother. I can’t do that to her. I won’t do it.  _

_ Molly cried when she found out, and she’s busy making a bunch of little pink outfits for Ruby. But honestly, I think pink will clash with her hair, don’t you? _

_ I’ve been in a better mood. I’m still sad, but Ruby fills me with hope, Fred. She fills us all with hope, which is something that we haven’t had in a long, long time. Even George is excited. But he was disappointed that she won’t be named Georgina. However, he was thrilled to receive the position of godfather. _

_ Anyways, back to my toast story. After that, it got awkward. I started to avoid spending time alone with you because I didn’t know how to act around you anymore. And I noticed the same thing happening with you. To an outsider, it was clear. We were avoiding each to avoid spilling our feelings. We were afraid of a rejection that wasn’t going to happen. But at that moment, I was so afraid. I didn’t want to lose you. So for the moment, being with you but not dating you was enough. We spent all of fifth year like that.  _

_ It seems so silly now. That we spent all that time dancing around each other, instead of confessing. We wasted so much time for stupid, irrational fears. I kick myself now when I think about it. We could have more time together.  _

_ I find myself doing that often. Thinking about the what ifs.  _

_ What if I had been there with you? _

_ What if it had hit Percy instead?  _

_ What if we hadn’t gone into battle at all? _

_ I know it doesn’t do well to dwell on those types of questions, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but go back and analyze my every move. How could we have achieved our happy ending?  _

_ I have a thousand ways we could have been happy. _

_ But that’s the thing, Freddie. _

_ It didn’t happen.  _

_ I’ll keep updating you with Ruby.  _

_ We both love you so much.  _

_ Oh, and Happy Halloween. Maybe you can finally chat with those Marauders.  _

_ Love, _

_ Lulu _


	6. November

_ Freddie, _

_ It’s my birthday, and I’m missing you more than ever.  _

_ I’m missing how you’d wake me up with a cupcake and a candle, singing Happy Birthday at the top of your lungs. And every year, you’d give me a bracelet. Nothing too fancy or elegant, but a simple string bracelet.  _

_ You saw me wearing one in our first year, and I taught you and George how to make them, and ever since then, you’d make me a new one for my birthday.  _

_ I still wear them. They’re all the most beautiful shade of red, my favorite color. They go from crimson to scarlet, and they adorn my left wrist. _

_ But there’s no new one this year.  _

_ It wasn’t a very festive day, but we all tried our best. Molly baked a delicious cake, and George got me some cool presents from the joke shop. _

_ It’s doing well, by the way. The joke shop. George hates running it alone, but it’s managing.  _

_ Fred,  _

_ It looks like I’ve shoved a watermelon under my shirt. That’s how big my stomach is. This pregnancy has been such an easy one. Besides those first few weeks, there’s been no vomiting, no dizziness, no nothing. I only hope it’s this easy later on, when she’s actually here. Molly says that I have it easy with this one.  _

_ The holiday season is upon us, Freddie! Thank God for that. Christma has always been my favorite, and now, I have an excuse to gorge myself. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I spent the whole day helping Molly cook.  _

_ Everyone’s back at The Burrow, and you wouldn’t believe it! Everyone’s really excited about Ruby. Ginny and Harry are engaged! I’m so excited for them. I’ve never seen either of them this happy. _

_ Ron and Hermione are dating, and they are so in love. It’s a beautiful thing to see, Freddie. Bill and Fleur are doing well, and Charlie’s here, too. He came for the holidays, and he talked all about this new dragon. Percy was also here, but he barely said a word. I think that he thinks we blame him. I don’t blame him, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish it was him who had died.  _

_ I know it sounds bad. Believe me, I know it sounds awful. But Fred, I’d rather everyone else die if that meant you could stay. And don’t you dare judge me from your comfortable cloud up in heaven. I think I’ve established by now how much I need you. And frankly, we could do without Percy. Uptight little git.  _

_ Anyways, I was cleaning when I found your Quidditch World Cup hat. You know, the green one with white stripes. _

_ Ah, the Quidditch World Cup. Memorable for reasons both good and bad. I remember that you and George invited me to join you. _

_ We trudged at the crack of dawn to the Portkey. It was still awkward, but we had gotten comfortable in our awkwardness. The three of us chatted up a storm while walking, and soon we met Amos and Cedric.  _

_ Now I know you’re probably scowling up in heaven, but I want you to know that I’m laughing right now. And I don’t really laugh anymore.  _

_ We all politely greeted Cedric, and he started talking to me. He was a very nice and polite boy, and we bonded over our shared hatred for strawberries.  _

_ We soon got to our tent, and I unpacked with Hermione and Ginny. Once we were unpacked, Ginny burst into a fit of giggles. _

_ “Is Cedric nice, Lulu?” _

_ “Oh, he’s pretty nice,” I replied. _

_ “He’s cute,” Ginny sighed. “Did you see the look on Fred’s face?” _

_ “What about Fred?” I asked.  _

_ “He was so jealous!” Hermione said.  _

_ “Jealous? Why would Fred be jealous?” _

_ “Because he likes you, of course!”  _

_ “Fred? Likes me? Nice joke, Gin.” _

_ Hermione and Ginny laughed. _

_ “You can’t tell me you don’t like him!” _

_ I felt my face grow hot. “I think I hear George,” I said, and sped out of there. _

_ The game itself was fun. Like most people, I love Quidditch.  _

_ We started to climb the stairs when Lucius Malfoy and his son started to brag about their wealth. Ignoring them, we all walked up to our seats and I ended up next to you. _

_ “So you and Diggory, huh?” _

_ “What?” I asked, completely baffled.  _

_ “Don’t fool me, Tallulah. You two were pretty cozy.” _

_ “I don’t like Cedric like that Fred. We literally just talked about strawberries.” _

_ “Sure you did. When you weren’t busy snogging.” _

_ “We didn’t snog! And why do you care anyways?” _

_ “Because-” _

_ The game started at that point, and it was incredibly tense as we watched the game. After about an hour, I couldn’t take it anymore, and went to the bathroom for a moment to myself. As I exited the bathroom, I ran right into your chest. _

_ “Sorry,” I murmured, and kept walking. You grabbed my wrist and spun me around.  _

_ “What-” _

_ And you kissed me. I still remember the feeling of your lips against mine. There was no sweeter feeling.  _

_ When you pulled away, I was completely flabbergasted.  _

_ “W-What...w-why?” _

_ “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” _

_ “But why?” _

_ “Why?” You laughed. “Lulu, I really like you.” _

_ “You do?” _

_ “In fact,” You said, tracing circles on my arm. “I think I love you.” _

_ “In that case,” I said “I think I love you, too.” _

_ And from that moment on, we were linked. The rest of the night would have been perfect, had it not been for the Death Eaters.  _

_ We were celebrating Ireland’s win (and our new relationship; the family was thrilled) at the tent when we heard the screams.  _

_ “Fred, take Lulu! George, you get Ginny!” _

_ We ran through the mass of people, not really knowing what we were avoiding. But then we saw the Death Eaters. Parading around in their special cloaks and masks, they had Muggles above them, wriggling in pain. We weaved our way to the forest, and we hid there until the attack was over.  _

_ They were after Muggles, and Muggle-borns.  _

_ Voldemort was the saddest excuse for a human being. He destroyed so many lives in an attempt to live out his childlike dreams. He didn’t care that people suffered, that people died, just as long as he could have his perfect, pure-blooded society. Did it really matter if someone had magical parents? If they had magical blood, then what was the problem? _

_ It’s tyrants like these who cost people everything. And in the end, in some sense, Voldemort did win. Because our loved ones died so peace could be restored. Peace that he disrupted. Yes, he got to die, but not without killing hundreds of people and leaving an impact on the world. The worst we could do to him, is not acknowledge him. But we need to, because of the history he created.  _

_ Long story short, Voldemort can rot in the fiery inferno where he belongs. And for our sake, I hope he’s surrounded by evil Muggles.  _

_ We miss you. _

_ Love, _

_ Lulu and Ruby _


	7. December

_ Fred,  _

_ It’s Christmas! _

_ Everyone’s back at The Burrow, and you wouldn’t believe it! Everyone’s really excited about Ruby. Ginny and Harry are engaged! That's why they came. Harry said he had a surprise. I’m so excited for them. I’ve never seen either of them this happy. _

_ Ron and Hermione are dating, and they are so in love. It’s a beautiful thing to see, Freddie. Bill and Fleur are doing well, and Charlie’s here, too. He came for the holidays, and he talked all about this new dragon. Percy was also here, but he barely said a word. I think that he thinks we blame him. I don’t blame him, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish it was him who had died. _

_ I know it sounds bad. Believe me, I know it sounds awful. But Fred, I’d rather everyone else die if that meant you could stay. And don’t you dare judge me from your comfortable cloud up in heaven. I think I’ve established by now how much I need you. And frankly, we could do without Percy. Uptight little git. _

_ I’m wearing a brand-new crimson jumper with an L on it. And Molly even made Ruby a small pink one. I’m sure she’ll love it. It started snowing, and it reminded me of the Yule Ball. _

_ I remember it like it was yesterday. You looked so handsome in your dress robes, and I wore this silver dress. It was one of the best nights of my life. We had so much fun dancing around. It was just you and me, spinning around the beautifully decorated Great Hall. It was perfect then, and it’d be one of the last good days for a while.  _

_ Because after the third task, Cedric Diggory was murdered. And after that, we ‘joined’ the Order. We spent our time running around 12 Grimmauld Place, just messing around. I watched as you and George created your Skiving Snackboxes, and even had the grand pleasure of testing out your Fever Fudge. We snuck food from the kitchen, and you snuck into my room every night, so I could fall asleep in your arms.  _

_ It was the happiest of times.  _

_ Sometimes, I look back on those days. We don’t really make a habit of numbering them. We don’t think, ‘This’ll be the last time I ever see my dad,’ or ‘I won’t ever eat pumpkin pasties after this’. But once it’s gone, once what we love is gone, all we can do is think about those last good days. You try and soak it all in, remembering every last detail, desperate for just one more second.  _

_ I remember our last good day. _

_ May 1st, 1998.  _

_ We didn’t know that there was going to be a battle the next day. We didn’t know that it would be the end. For us, May 1st was just another ordinary day. We ate breakfast, went to work, and did everything as normal. It was just another Friday, and we were just two normal people doing their normal jobs.  _

_ But we didn’t know that would be our last day.  _

_ Freddie, there’s so many things that I would change in order to really make that day count. I would have appreciated every last one of your stupid jokes, I would have enjoyed your embrace more, I would have done everything that I didn’t.  _

_ I assumed that we’d have more time. Because who doesn’t? It didn’t occur to me that I’d go to bed the next night without you.  _

_ I thought we were both going to make it out alive.  _

_ But we didn’t. _

_ It’s not fair, Fred. It really isn’t fair. Ruby has to grow up without her father, I have to raise Ruby without you, George has to move on without his other half, Molly doesn’t have all of her sons anymore. _

_ Why did you have to go? _

_ Can you hear me, Freddie? Can you please come back? _

_ We need you. _

_ I need more. I need to kiss you one last time. So that I can remember the sweet feeling of your lips against mine. I need to hold you one last time. So that I can appreciate having my arms wrapped against you. I need to be with you one last time. So that I can appreciate every inch of your body, and how it was made to fit mine.  _

_ I need to love you one last time. I wasn’t ready to let go.  _

_ I love you so much, Fred. I hope that one day, I’ll be able to see you.  _

_ Love, _

_ Lulu and Ruby _


	8. January

_ This has to be a joke. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t.  _

_ Why is life so unfair? Why do I have to sit here while everybody else gets to move on. Happy and free. _

_ We lost her, Freddie. I’m sorry, they tried everything possible. But she just didn’t make it.  _

_ I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. You already know.  _

_ It just isn’t fair! We can’t do this alone! I can’t! I wasn’t ready for this. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  _

_ I shouldn’t be here with your daughter, Fred. I’m the wrong brother.  _

_ It’s like some sort of sick joke. None of us expected her to die, Fred.  _

_ Three days ago, Lulu and Mum were baking a cake when it started. Her stomach started to hurt, and the three of us rushed to St. Mungo’s, excited to meet little Ruby. _

_ I wasn’t supposed to be allowed inside, but Mum forced the Healers to let me in. It was hilarious. You would have loved it.  _

_ Lulu was in pain for hours and hours and hours. Ruby just wouldn’t budge. They tried everything. Different potions, and techniques, but nothing was working, and the pain was getting worse.  _

_ She kept crying for you, Freddie. All she did was cry. She was so scared. I felt awful being in there. I felt like a slap in the face. Because no matter how many times people insist it isn’t true, I know it is.  _

_ I look exactly like you, Freddie. Even though Lulu insisted that my lips and nose were different, I know better. I look exactly like you, and you look exactly like me.  _

_ Looked, I guess.  _

_ There was never a time where we were apart. Never a time you said ‘Fred’ and it wasn’t followed by ‘George’. We were two different people sharing the same soul. And now I’m alone. I felt that way before, but at least I had my closest friend to help. _

_ But now she’s gone too.  _

_ The two people who I loved the most are gone. And I wouldn’t have anything to live for if it weren’t for Ruby. _

_ Beautiful little Ruby.  _

_ After nearly two days of nothing happening, everything started happening. Everything was moving quickly, and I saw the realization on the Healers’ faces. _

_ Lulu wasn’t going to make it.  _

_ And oh my Merlin, Fred, there was so much blood. All I could see was blood. Blood everywhere. It was horrifying. And she kept crying and screaming and in that moment, I would have given anything for you to have been there. _

_ Fred, if I could have died for you, I would’ve.  _

_ And then it just stopped. The screaming stopped. There was small wail as one of the Healers took Ruby. She was covered in blood, and screamed her little head off. For a moment, I was relieved. Ruby was fine, Lulu had stopped screaming, and everything was going to be okay.  _

_ “Mrs. Weasley, I’m sorry,” the Healer said. “But she didn’t make it.” _

_ Mum started sobbing as the Healer tried to console her. I felt dread fill every inch of my body.  _

_ If you and Lulu were gone, who was going to take care of Ruby? _

_ I walked to where the tiny baby was. She was being swaddled in pink blankets and had stopped crying. She was so tiny, so perfect, so oblivious.  _

_ She didn’t know that her father was dead, or that her mother had just died. _

_ She was just there.  _

_ And you were right. She does have the hair. The signature Weasley locks. But the amazing thing is her eyes. Because I had only ever seen eyes like that once. She had the unmistakable amber brown eyes of her mother.  _

_ “What a shame,” one Healer whispered to another. “She’s an orphan.” _

_ “Who’s going to take care of her now?” Another replied.  _

_ “I am,” I said without thinking.  _

_ I knew I had to do it. Mum wanted to, and she insisted that Ruby would be better off with her. But she needs me. She needs someone to tell her about the way her father pranked everyone around him, or the way that her mother used to laugh about anything and everything.  _

_ I knew that this child needed me more than anything. _

_ And I needed her too. _

_ Fred, I have something to live for again. Someone needs me, and only me. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. I’m determined to give Ruby a sliver of the life that she deserved.  _

_ But I’m scared. I’m freaking out.  _

_ I don’t know how to do this. I’m not prepared. Lulu spent weeks reading different books and learning how to do different things. _

_ Fred, I don’t even know how to spell the word dieper.  _

_ I’m scared. But I need to do this. _

_ For me, for you, for Lulu, and most importantly, for Ruby.  _

_ I saw that Lulu was writing you letters when I was looking for one of her baby books. I probably shouldn’t have read them, but I couldn’t help it. I’m going to keep writing, Fred. You deserve to know about Ruby somehow. It makes me feel like you can hear.  _

_ I miss you, Fred. So much.  _

_ Tell Lulu I said hi. I know that wherever you are, she is.  _

_ Love, _

_ George _


	9. February

_ Fred, _

_ I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Who knew that babies were so difficult? Ruby cries at every little thing, and I don’t know how to help. Mum helps me as much as she can, but it’s still hard.  _

_ I feel like I’m doing everything incorrectly. What if I just end up messing her up? I don’t know if I’m doing anything right. I keep second guessing everything. _

_ Did I put the nappy on right? _

_ Am I feeding her too much or too little? _

_ Why is she crying? _

_ It’s only been a couple of weeks since she was born. I went out and bought a bunch of baby stuff. Now, our flat is covered with it. A crib, a changing table, boxes and boxes of nappies and baby formula.  _

_ I don’t remember the last time I got a good night's sleep. She’s always crying for some reason. And I usually don’t know the reason, and it scares me.  _

_ But here’s the thing. As soon as I hold her in my arms, everything feels like it’s going to be okay. Like I’ll figure it out eventually.  _

_ It’s hard, Fred. There’s times where I feel like the best thing to do is hand her over to Mum. But I can’t do that. She needs to be with me. No matter how inexperienced I am or no matter how much I suck at being a father.  _

_ She needs to be with me.  _

_ Who else is going to tell her everything she wants to know about her father? Mum can try, but nobody knew him like I did. And her mother. Again, nobody knew her like I did. I can give her what she needs.  _

_ Well, I’m the next best thing.  _

_ Angelina came over the other day to see the baby. She and Lulu were pretty close too as you already know. She’s devastated by the loss of her friend, but she loves Ruby. Oh, you should’ve seen it, Freddie. She was carrying her and talking to her and Ruby didn’t even cry! It took Ron nearly a week to hold her without her crying.  _

_ I wish I had more to say, but other than the fact that I’m failing to take care of your daughter, I don’t have much to report. Hopefully, I’ll be able to figure it out.  _

_ Because I can’t lose anyone else.  _

_ Love, _

_ George and Ruby _


	10. March

_ Fred, I can’t.  _

_ I can’t do this anymore. Please forgive me. I’m sorry.  _

_ I can’t.  _

_ I’m sorry.  _


	11. September 1, 2010

_ Fred,  _

_ Well, it turns out that I can.  _

_ Today was Ruby’s first day at Hogwarts. She was so excited. She wore her favorite jumper. Blue with green stripes.  _

_ It’s your jumper. She found it when she was three, and I’ve been altering it with magic as she’s gotten older. She loves it, and she calls it her ‘good luck jumper’.  _

_ You should see her now, Fred. She’s quite tall for an eleven year old girl. She’s got your hair. Not just the color, but the unruliness too. It takes an excessive amount of brushing to keep it decently tidy. She has Lulu’s dark brown eyes, and they aren’t just the same in color. Her eyes hold the same sparkle that Lulu’s did. Her nose is sprinkled with freckles. It kind of reminds me of those cookies Mum makes. The sugar cookies.  _

_ She made us all get up extra early. Angelina and I were both exhausted, since Roxanne had refused to go to bed last night.  _

_ Anyway, the five of us rushed to the platform excitedly, but nobody more excited than Ruby. She pushed her cart eagerly, making sure that she wouldn’t knock over Fred.  _

_ Ruby loves Fred and Roxanne. She knows that they’re really just cousins, but she calls them her siblings. They all get along so well. And she loves Angelina. So much. It’s kind of ridiculous how close they are.  _

_ Not to brag or anything, but she thinks I’m the coolest uncle in the world. She’s constantly bragging about me to anybody that will listen.  _

_ Eleven years ago, I didn’t think I could do it, Fred. I was ready to give up. I almost did. I had packed up all of her things and I was going to hand her over to Mum. But once I picked her up to put her in the carrier, I couldn’t do it. She smiled at me, and for a moment, she looked exactly like you. Which is something coming from me.  _

_ Then she smiled again, but this time, she looked exactly like Lulu. I swear to Merlin that I almost fainted on the spot. But I knew then that I had to keep her. And it wasn’t easy but it was the best decision I ever made.  _

_ A year and a half after that, I married Angelina. She had been coming around quite often to see Ruby, and we started talking again. After you and Lulu died, I wasn’t sure if I could ever open myself up again, but with her, I didn’t need to. For some reason, she already knew.  _

_ She’s great with Ruby. She truly is. All the things I can’t help Ruby with, Angelina does. They can spend hours talking together, and they love to go dress shopping in Diagon Alley.  _

_ When Fred, our first son was born, Ruby cried. She was so excited to get a little brother, and she protected him like her life depended on it. She would sit outside his door nearly the entire day, making sure that he was fine.  _

_ She did the same for Roxanne.  _

_ She asks about you every day. I tell her everything, and there’s nothing that she loves more than hearing about her dear old dad. She loves hearing prank stories, stories about your stupidity, baby stories, etc. But her favorite stories are the ones about you and Lulu. Lucky for me, I was the third wheel like 80% of the time.  _

_ She’s sad that she’s never met you. I know she doesn’t tell me or Angelina about it, but she’s really sad. What hurts me the most is that that’s something I will never be able to fix. It broke my heart when I explained it to her for the first time. That her dad died because of some noseless tyrant. And that her mother died giving birth to her.  _

_ I’m not going to lie. It’s really hard sometimes. I don’t ever want to feel like a replacement because nobody can replace you. While we look the same, we were two very different people.  _

_ She wants to be a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff. I think she’s more of a Hufflepuff, if I’m being honest. She’s too kind for her own good.  _

_ She’s happy. I’m happy. We’re all happy, Freddie. As happy as we can be, anyway. I think I’ll leave it here. Before I go, I want you to know this. There isn’t a single day that passes where I don’t tell her about her father and her mother.  _

_ Fred, her first word was Dad. She was pointing to a picture of you with Lulu. Her second word was Mum, not 30 seconds later.  _

_ She loves you. I love you. We will always love you.  _

_ Always thinking of you, _

_ George and Ruby _


End file.
